I am...For Mothers

I found this poem during my travels and it truly says it all...

I am ..............for mothers.By Michelle Guppy I am the little engine that did. When on my journey in life, my tracks led me to a mountain - a diagnosis of Autism - I looked at it with defeat - thinking there was no way I could climb over it. I then pondered the obstacle before me, and I then said to myself over and over, "I think I can, I think I can...," then I slowly started climbing the mountain saying to myself over and over, "I know I can, I know I can,...." and then I made it over that ominous diagnosis of Autism and continued my journey.

I am the little engine that did.I am more devoted than Noah's wife. I am cooped up in this "houseboat" for 365 days and 365 nights a year, constantly taking care of and cleaning up after my "herd of animals." And when the storms of isolation and monotony become most unbearable, I do not jump ship. Instead I wait for the rainbow that is sure to come.

I am Xena. Real life warrior goddess of Autism. With my steel plated armor I can fight anyone who gets in the way of progress for my child. I can fight the stares and ignorance of typpies - those without autism in their lives - and educate them as to why my child is the way he is, and why he does the things he does. I can fight the schools to have them properly educate my child. And I can fight denied insurance claims to get coverage for my child. Yes, I am Xena - and I am armed for battle...

I am Betsy Ross. I am part of History by my contribution to the Autism Awareness Quilt -- many pieces of fabric representing many states, stitched together, that will collectively symbolize Freedom. Freedom from the lack of information about Autism, Freedom from not knowing what causes Autism, and Freedom from the lack of funding and research to treat, overcome, and live with - Autism. Like Betsy's piece of fabric, my piece of fabric will someday sit in a museum, for others to see my 12.5 x 12.5 inch memorial of a battle well fought. Whether my child is "cured" in my lifetime does not matter, in the end what will matter to me and to my child, is that I never surrendered.

I am the Bionic Woman. I have X-Ray vision - I can see through the mask of autism on my child's face, and see the beauty in his soul and the intelligence in his eyes --- when others can't. I have super-hearing - I can look at my child when he smiles at me, and hear his voice say, "I Love You Mommy," --- even though he can't talk. Yes, I am thankful to be Bionic.

I am Mary. A not so well known mother of an Autistic child who was brought here to touch the souls of those around him, in a way that will forever change them. And it started with me. By teaching me things I would never have known, by bringing me friendships I never would have had, and by opening my eyes as to what really matters in life. Things like keeping the Faith, never losing Hope, and knowing a Love that that words cannot express. Yes, I too am blessed by a special child, just like Mary.

I am Superwoman. I am able to leap over tall loads of laundry in a single bound, and run faster than a speeding bullet, to chase my child as he dashes out the front door and heads for the busy street. Oh yes, without a doubt, I am Superwoman.I am Moses. I am doing my part in leading other parents and society to more awareness, knowledge, and resources, and most of all - Faith. Like Moses did, I too, will sometimes meet with resistance from those who don't believe. And like Moses, God will give me the small Miracles here and there, needed to accomplish my mission.

I am Stretch Armstrong - a mom that can be stretched beyond belief - and still somehow return to normal. I can stretch limited funds to cover every treatment and therapy that insurance won't. I can stretch my patience as I explain my child's biomedical issues with yet another uneducated doctor. I can stretch what time I have, and share it with my husband, mychildren, my church, and still have some leftover to help others. Yes, my name is Stretch. And I have the stretch-marks to prove it!

I am Rosa Parks. I refuse to move or waver in what I believe is right for my child --simply because my view is the minority, not the majority. I refuse to believe "What can one mother do?" But instead, I will write, call, and rally to the government, and do whatever it takes to bring equality for my child.

I am Hercules. The Greek god known for strength and courage. The heavy loads I must carry would make others crumble to the ground. The weight of Sorrow, Fear at uncertainty of the future, Injustice at having no answers, and from Tears of despair, would alone possibly be too much, --- even for Hercules. But then the Joy, Laughter, Smiles, and Tears of pride, - at my child's accomplishments, - balance the load to make it easy to bear.

I am touched by an Angel. An Angel who is often described as living in a world of his own. And it's true. He lives in a world of innocence and purity. A world without hatred or deceit. A world where everyone is beautiful and where no-one is ugly. A world where there is always enough time. A world where he goes to bed with no worries of tomorrow and wakes up with no regrets of the past. Yes, I most certainly am touched by an Angel, and I sometimes think that his world is better....

I am a mom of a special needs child, all the above, and so much more. Somedays I will want to be none of the above - and just be a typical mom with a typical child, doing typical things. On those days I will know it's o.k. to be angry, and to cry, and to lean on my friends for support. Because after all, ---the most important thing I am, ..... is human.****And on this special day, and every other day I need to, I will read this as a reminder, of just who it is, ~ I am......

c. May 2000 By Michelle Guppy - for those "Special" mom's

Social cues: Some advice.

My 14 yr old w/ autism "monologues". Thru every movie, meal, errand... He also involves any bystander, luckily many of the strangers he approaches just smile and nod. As for the social cues, when mine do something not widely accepted by society in general; I explain what they did, ask them what they did, I then repeat what they did and tell them why they shouldn't do it...(i.e. it makes others feel bad, funny, weird etc.) ,ask them why they shouldn't do it, repeat it back to them. Most people learn in threes. It takes ALOT of patience, and if your child has difficulty with impulse control it may well take forever. However, don't give up. You will be surprised at what does register with the child. Also if you "google" feelings ( sad, mad, scared, wary, happy...etc.. and click on images you can make flash cards and occasionally go over what the appropriate reaction is to each look. Once again do it in shifts of three. This is easily done while you are driving the kids to school....there is no pressure on the kids as they flip thru...there are no wrong answers.

An important thought to remember:

Women and girls see eye contact as a way to connect...Men and boys view it as an act of aggression. Therefore touchy topics are best handled while driving or cooking side by side.

Conflicting Reports

Many people have expressed frustration at conflicting diagnosis. There are instances where a child can be diagnosed with PDD-NOS by one psychologist and Asperger Syndrome by the next. It happens. If your child is having a really positive day, with few stims or emotional outbursts, he/she could possibly be given a different diagnosis. This is why I feel that if you have the means, have your child evaluated a third time. Make sure that you tell the evaluators that, "Yes, Tommy is at his absolute best today." That way it can be taken into consideration. Also it is important that you go with your gut feelings. There is something to be said for a Mothers Instinct. Once a consesus concerning your child has been reached it is important that you continue to see the health care professional that your CHILD is most comfortable with. In the long run this will help your child to reach his or her full potential in a loving and caring environment.

Autism Awareness

Hi guys! April is Autism Awareness month! For those of you who know me, you know I have 3 boys who have been diagnosed on the spectrum. It is a strange and interesting life! You never know what amazing ( and not necessarily true) facts will come popping out of someones mouth. I would love to thank all of my wonderful family and friends for their posts, especially my daughters friends who have shown tolerance, support and affection. I couldn't have picked better or more loyal friends for her myself!
Here is a checklist you can print out to take with you to a dr.'s appt. if you have a toddler or know someone who does! There is no cure for autism, however early intervention can help modify the severity of autism. Keep in mind that as with any disorder, disease or illness it is easy to say, I have that symptom, I have this symptom and that one...OMG I must have cervical cancer!(Yet you are a male...which is possible, but that is a whole other ball of wax!)
If you have any concerns please feel free to call me! I know resources and people...and people who know people!
Another item to keep in mind is that a child may only show diminished symptoms...that is also a cause for concern, because as milestones are missed the severity can increase.
REMEMBER EARLY DETECTION IS THE KEY!!!
There is a checklist for physicians to use to determine if a child is at risk of developing autism. CHAT, a Checklist for Autism in Toddlers, has 2 versions: the original and the modified version. We will list both here.
CHAT was developed by researchers, Baron and Cohen, in Britain and should not be used to diagnose autism. It is a screening tool to be used to identify at risk children who should then be referred to a specialist for a more in depth evaluation. It is a combination of asking the parents questions and also using the physicians own observations.
The modified version, M-CHAT was created by researchers at the University of Connecticut Department of Psychology. It is a questionnaire for parents that is an expanded version of the original. The M-CHAT has a total of 23 questions to be answered, using the same first 9 questions as the original CHAT test. It was used to screen 1,293 children and of the 58 children identified as at risk who were given a diagnostic/developmental evaluation, 39 were diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder.

CHAT

This test is to be used by physicians at a child's 18 month check up.
Section A - Ask Parent:
Yes or No
A1) Does your child enjoy being swung, bounced on your knee?
A2) Does your child take an interest in other children?
A3) Does your child like climbing on things, such as up stairs?
A4) Does your child enjoy playing peek-a-boo/hide-and-seek?
A5) Does your child ever pretend, for example, to make a cup of tea using a tea cup and teapot, or pretend other things?
A6) Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to ask for something?
A7) Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to indicate interest in something?
A8) Can your child play properly with small toys (e.g. cars or bricks) without just mouthing, fiddling, or dropping them?
A9) Does your child ever bring objects over to you, to show you something?
Section B - GP's Observation
Yes or No
i) During the appointment, has the child made eye contact with you?
ii) Get child's attention, then point across the room at an interesting object and say "Oh look! There's a (name a toy!" Watch the child's face. Does the child look across to see what you are pointing at? * NOTE - To record yes on this item, ensure the child has not simply looked at your hand, but has actually looked at the object you are pointing at.iii) Get the child's attention, then give a miniature toy cup and teapot and say "Can you make a cup of tea?" Does the child pretend to pour out the tea, drink it, etc.? * NOTE - If you can elicit an example of pretending in some other game, score a yes on this item. iv) Say to the child "Where is the light?" or "Show me the light". Does the child point with his/her index finger at the light? * NOTE - Repeat this with "Where is the Teddy?" or some other unreachable object if the child does not understand the word "light". To record yes on this item, the child must have looked up at your face around the time of pointing.v) Can the child build a tower of bricks? (If so, how many?) (Number of bricks...)
There are 5 key items in the checklist. A5) dealing with pretend play
A7) Dealing with protodeclarative pointing
Bii) Following a point
Biii) Pretending
Biv) Producing a point
If a child fails all 5 of these key items, they have a high risk of developing autism.
Children who fail numbers A7 and Biv have a medium risk of developing autism.
Any child who fails the CHAT test should be rechecked again in one month to allow some slower developing children to catch up. If the child fails again, they should be referred to a specialist in diagnosing autism.

M-CHAT


Questionnaire

Please fill out the following about how your child USUALLY is. Please try to answer every question. If the behavior is rare (e.g., you have seen it once or twice), please answer as if the child does not do it.
YES or NO
1) Does your child enjoy being swung, bounced on your knee, etc.?
2) Does your child take an interest in other children?
3) Does your child like climbing on thing, such as up stairs?
4) Does your child enjoy playing peek-a-boo/hide-and-seek?
5) Does your child ever pretend, for example, to talk on the phone or take care of dolls or pretend other things?
6) Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to ask for something?
7) Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to indicate interest in something?
8) Can your child play properly with small toys (e.g. cars or bricks) without just mouthing, fiddling, or dropping them?
9) Does your child ever bring objects over to you, to show you something?
10) Does your child look you in the eye for more than a second or two?
11) Does your child ever seem oversensitive to noise? (e.g., plugging ears)
12) Does your child smile in response to your face or your smile?
13) Does your child imitate you? (e.g., you make a face - will your child imitate it?)
14) Does your child respond to his/her name when you call?
15) If you point at a toy across the room, does your child look at it?
16) Does your child walk?
17) Does your child look at things you are looking at?
18) Does your child make unusual finger movements near his/her face?
19) Does your child try to attract your attention to his/her own activity?
20) Have you ever wondered if your child is deaf?
21) Does you child understand what people say?
22) Does your child sometimes stare at nothing or wander with no purpose?
23) Does your child look at your face to check your reaction when faced with something unfamiliar?
Six items pertaining to social relatedness and communication were found to have the best discriminability between children with and without an autism spectrum disorder. They are considered to be the critical questions.
CRITICAL QUESTIONS:
If the answer is NO to the following questions:
#2
#7
#9
#13
#14
#15
A child is determined to have failed the M-CHAT test if any 2 or more critical items are failed.
A child is also determined to have failed the test if any three items are failed.
Not all children who fail the M-CHAT will be diagnosed with autism. However, any child who fails the test should absolutely be more thoroughly evaluated by a specialist as soon as possible