Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I Love My Life.

Do I have regrets? Yes, I have a few. I regret I didn't listen to my Mom. But what 19 year old really does? My children were not stolen by Autism. Their souls were not the victims of a cruel hijacking. Fate did not perpetrate an evil hoax upon my family. I don't blame God, the vaccines, medical professionals or myself (not anymore). Do I feel sorry for me? Not really. Ok, well sometimes, but only during times of high stress, such as the onset of a seizure, or long waits in an emergency room. I am pretty emotional. I cry. It feels good. When people start talking about the effects of Autism, I get sad, because I understand what they are saying, and sometimes wish I didn't. This constitutes about 2% of my time. So 98% of the time I am happy. Wow, I said it and meant it! Autism has forever changed my outlook on life. I enjoy the small moments. I enjoy a fleeting smile, a momentous hug, the random high five. I enjoy the MOMENT! I used to be impatient for the morrow, today I am patience personified (but only today...I don't know what tomorrow will bring). My life is Happy Feet ten times a day. If I'm lucky we can watch Finding Nemo. And what a life it is. All happy endings. I live in a world where my 14 year old son still believes in Fairy Tales. Now that is a Miracle. I live in a world where my children (all four of them) absolutely stand by their convictions. A Rarity. My sons are never afraid to hold my hands or show affection in public, ever. What more can I say! I LOVE MY LIFE!

2 comments:

Maddy said...

Yup I'm with you on that one. My 9 year old is quite happy to launch himself at me for hug any time he's in the mood. Lucky me!
Cheers

Casdok said...

Love the way you think!